The Magician of Sacramento
by Pen99
Summary: This classic tale, once twisted by Disney, takes on a new form. The beautiful city of Paris becomes bustling Sacramento, while deformed Quasimodo transforms into the rejected magician Patrick Jane. Be prepared to see the Hunchback of Notre Dame presented a way you have never seen before. Disney would never approve if it was told like this. AU/Jisbon
1. Chapter 1

The Magician of Sacramento

_Summary: This classic tale, once twisted by Disney, takes on a new form. The beautiful city of Paris becomes bustling Sacramento, while deformed Quasimodo transforms into the rejected magician Patrick Jane. Be prepared to see the Hunchback of Notre Dame presented a way you have never seen before. Disney would never approve if it was told like this. AU/Jisbon _

A/N: Just so you all know, I have read the original Hunchback of Notre Dame. I prefer Disney's version because a lot of messed up stuff happens in the original. Don't worry, Disney has nothing on this. All the physiological aspects of the RJ hunt will be here, just presented in a new format. I wanted to take a short break from my other story because I'm getting stuck. I hope this experience will enlighten me. Enjoy!

**Note: **Italicized/bolded lines are singing by the narrator, but if you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you treat them like poetry. Just Italicized lines are still singing, but they are being sung by characters.

I can't link it, but they have the bells of Notre Dame instrumentals on YouTube. It makes it more fun to read!

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_**Morning in Sacramento , the city awkes**_

_**To the sound of passing cars**_

_**The business man hustles, the bureaucrat waits **_

_**To the sounds of passing cars**_

_**To the big streets thick with people**_

_**To the little streets withering away**_

_**And some say the soul of the cities' the people within**_

_**The streets of Sacramento**_

A suited man stands on the side of the street, while a crowd of children gather round. Minelli smiles at them, and they return the gesture.

"Look around, they're beautiful, no?" Asks Minelli pointing to the tall buildings lining the street. "So many colors and sounds, so many changing shapes. Because, you know, they don't run all by themselves."

The children giggle with wonder. "They Don't"

"No little ones." Minelli chuckles. "Up there high, high in the dark attic, lives the mysterious magician."

"Who?" the children whispered "How did he come to be there?"

"I will tell you." Minelli murmurs solemnly. "It is a tale, a tale of a man and a murderer."

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The Scene wipes to a dreary night. A band of carnies proceed quietly down the Sacramento River, hoping to avoid detection. The infant, clutched in the arms of a young woman, begins to cry.

_**Dark was the night when our tale was begun**_

_**On the docks of Sacramento**_

"Shut it up, will you!" A beefy carnie cried.

"We'll be spotted." Backed up another.

The Infant's mother brought her daughter closer to her chest.

"Hush little one." She cooed.

A man grabbed her and the child, bundling them together in his arms.

"It'll be okay." He whispered. "Don't you cry Charlotte."

_**Four frightened carnies slid silently under**_

_**The docks of Sacramento**_

The man navigating the boat turned to the weary travelers.

"Five hundred dollars for safe passage into Sacramento." He hissed.

_**But a trap had been laid for the carnies**_

_**And they gazed up in fear and alarm**_

_**At a figure whose clutches**_

_**Were cold as much as steel**_

In front of the carnies stood a hooded figure. When he pulled back his hood, a battered face was lit up by the harsh candle light.

"Minister Red John!" The beefy Carnie cried.

_**Minister Red John longed to purge the city**_

_**Of vice and sin**_

_**And he saw corruption everywhere, except within **_

"Bring these carnie vermin to the head of CBI" Red John sneered.

The infant's mother gathered her child in her arms, attempting to keep her hidden.

"You there!" A minion cried. "What are you hiding!?"

"Stolen goods no doubt." Red John spat. "Take them from her."

Sensing her last opportunity, Angela yanked on her husband's arm. Together, they ran.

They pass through the clutches of Red John, sprinting quickly past the docks towards the city. The couple bounced hurriedly through the streets, heading toward the cathedral of visualize, the heart of Sacramento. Red John followed them on horseback, still coveting the mysterious goods. The family reached the doors of the cathedral, beginning to shout and bang for help.

"Sanctuary!" Angela Cried.

"Please give us sanctuary." Repeated her husband.

Minister Red John finally caught up to them pounding at the cathedral door. He used his staff to beat the head of the blonde husband, thoroughly enjoying his wince of pain. The minister ripped the bundle out of Angela's arms, and kicked her, sending her crashing to the cement steps, where she was knocked unconscious. Charlotte began to cry.

"A baby." Red John shutters.

"You monster." The blonde man cried, rushing to the battered body of his wife.

Red John stared into the face of the infant, a silver glow in his eyes. He immediately dropped her, sending down her body against the hard ground. The crying stopped instantly. The minister rushed to the body of the mother. Next the weeping blonde man, Angela lay stiff. The minister raised his staff, ready to finish the man off as well.

"STOP!" Cried a voice.

Out of the shadows walked an elder man, his eyes filled with sorrow. Red John recognized him immediately, the Holy Archdeacon Brett Stiles. Stiles began to cry out to the minister.

"_See there the innocent blood you have spilt _

_On the steps of visualize"_

"I am guiltless." Smirked Red John. "They ran, I perused."

"_Now you would add this man's blood to your guilt_

_On the steps of visualize" _

"My conscience is clear." The minister chuckled.

"_You can lie to yourself and your minions_

_You can claim that you haven't a qualm_

_But you can never run_

_Nor hide what you've done_

_From the people_

_The very people of Sacramento"_

_**And for one time in his life of power and control**_

_**Red John felt a twinge of fear for the public's toll**_

"What must I do?" Red John asked.

"Hide the man." Stiles responded. "Take him to the CBI"

"But where?" Shot the minister.

"Anywhere." Said the archdeacon. "_Just so he's kept locked away where no one else can see_."

"The CBI attic, perhaps." Red John whispered. "And who knows—our lord works in mysterious ways. _Even this cursed carnie may yet prove to be use to me_."

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The children gasped and instinctively huddled closer to Minelli.

"What next?" They asked.

"Red John stole the husband and brought him to stay in the attic of the CBI." Responded Minelli. "The man had a name that revealed his past, so the minister fashioned him a new one. He gave him a cruel name. A name that keeps him plain and hidden in the shadows… Jane."

_**Now here is a riddle to guess if you can**_

_**Ask the people of Sacramento**_

_**Who is the outcast and who is the man?**_

_**Ask the people, people, people, people**_

_**People, people, people, people**_

_**People of Sacramento. **_

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What did you guys think? Too AU for you? I hope not, I had a ton of fun writing this. So far it's pretty close to script, but be prepared for it to stray more away as the story progresses. Please review and tell me if this is something you'd be interested reading more about. Thank you all and I hope I have another chapter up in the next two days!

Key* (So far)

Jane-_ Quasimodo_

Red John-_Minister Frollo_

Minelli-_Clopin_

Brett Stiles-_Archdeacon_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks for all the positive reviews for chapter one. As promised, here is chapter two. I hope you guys like it; I know I loved writing it. Like Rosepeony said, it's important to keep an open mind! This isn't going to be spot on with every detail of The Mentalist, it's supposed to be fun!

*****Note: **I'm looking for a talented artist to make cover art for this story. I currently have a picture off the internet with Mentalist character faces pasted overtop, but I would like a real drawing. If anyone's up for the task, message me here or on Tumblr. I would love you forever and I'd promise to read your stories and comment on every chapter… Who am I kidding, I'd probably do that anyway!

Also, you can get the song "Out There" as an instrumental on YouTube. I really suggest it, either with words or not. Adding music alongside reading lyrics brings the story to life. **Try it just once**.

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"But what became of him?" The children asked.

"The Minister, Red John?" Asked Minelli.

"No!" They cried. "The one called Jane!"

Minelli grimaced.

"To answer that, dear children, we must bring our story thirteen years into the future. It is time for you to meet a tortured man. A man who has spent over a decade locked in an attic. A man who has been driven to insanity—some say, to bliss. A man who has forgotten the true events of his past."

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The scene changed to the CBI attic rooftop; the frozen forms of Cho and Rigsby sat perched on the edge of the balcony. Rigsby's mouth hung open; a bird's nest woven around his solid teeth. As Jane approached, the bird woke with a start.

"Morning." Jane said hopefully. "Will today be the day? Are you finally ready to escape?"

The bird squeaks its disapproval.

"Are you sure?" He grinned. "Good day to try. If I picked a day to escape, this would be it! The Sacramento festival. It would be great—jugglers, music, and dancing…"

Slyly, Jane clasped his fingers around the bird. Holding the bird over the edge, he let go. The bird originally panicked, but after flapping its wings, it soared upward.

"Go on!" Jane coaxed. "Nobody wants to be cooped up here forever."

Without a glance back, the bird flew off. As soon as it is gone, Rigsby and Cho came to life. Rigsby sputtered and spit out the nest.

"Man." Rigsby coughed. "I'll be plucking out bird feathers for a week!"

"That's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open." Cho deadpanned. "With the amount of drool on the floor, I'm guessing the thing got a nice bath."

Rigsby eyed him maliciously, but decided to say nothing.

"Hey Jane?" Rigsby asked. "What's going on down there? A fight? A raid? A crime?"

"You mean the Sacramento festival?" Cho rolled his eyes.

"Yes!" Rigsby said excited. "Nothing beasts a balcony view for watching that delicious, creamy, greasy, deep-fried festival food!"

"Yah," Jane said dejectedly. "That's right, watching."

He turned towards the attic door, ready to head inside.

"Hey! Hey, what gives?" Rigsby asked.

"So, you're not going to watch the festival." Cho said plainly.

Jane said nothing.

"You must be sick." Rigsby shouted.

Out of nowhere, the statue of Van Pelt came to life.

"Impossible." She laughed sarcastically. "If thirteen years of listening to you hasn't made him sick, nothing will."

The two began to bicker, but Van Pelt stopped when she saw the look on Jane's face.

"Jane, what's wrong." She asked softly.

"Nothing." He said confidently." I just don't feel like watching, that's all."

"Have you ever thought about going to the festival?" Rigsby asks.

The other two statues shot him death looks.

"You're forgetting one thing," Jane laughed harshly. "Red John."

"Oh." Rigsby said embarrassed. "Yeah, right."

"Well," Van Pelt mumbled. "When he says you're forbidden from ever leaving the attic, does he mean ever ever?"

Jane shot her a murderous look. Van Pelt backed away sheepishly.

"She's just trying to help." Said Rigsby defensively. "Anyway, who says you've got to ask."

"You could sneak out." Backed up Van Pelt.

"He'll never know you're gone." Rigsby added.

"You could sneak back in and—"

"Enough." Jane shouted, trying to retain his composure. "I'm not going anywhere. The world out there, it's not for people… people like me."

"Jane." Van Pelt said sympathetically.

"Why do you think I'm up here?" Jane added. "Why do you think I'm not with everyone else? I don't belong; Red John has shown me that. The world doesn't need monsters like me."

"What are you—"

"My family." Jane screamed. "I murdered them. I killed my wife and daughter outside the Cathedral of Visualize. I'm up here for a reason. Red John is protecting me from them. He says they want to kill me. They want me die to justify the crimes I have committed."

"It's just one afternoon." She said quietly.

Jane sighed.

"I mean—if I got caught"

"It's better to ask to forgiveness than to ask permission." Cho stated.

"What Red John doesn't know won't hurt him." Smiled Rigsby. "Ignorance is bliss"

"Look who's talking." Van Pelt whispered.

Jane stood there and thought for a moment. Van Pelt had been right, what's one afternoon?

"Ok." He said quietly.

Van Pelt and Rigsby cheered, Cho suppressed a smile.

"I'll wear a disguise, just this once. I'll get cleaned up. I'll stroll down those stairs. I'll march through the doors, past the metal detectors—"

Jane and the team had been advancing to the door leading to the stairway. As Jane neared it, Red John appeared suddenly in the doorway, stopping Jane and returning the team of gargoyles to stone.

"Good morning Jane." Red John sighed.

"Um-" Jane recovered. "Good morning."

"Dear man, whomever were you talking to?"

"My team."

"I see." He said coolly. "And what is your team made of, Jane."

"Stone." Jane whispered.

"Can stone talk?" Red John asked cruelly.

"No, no it can't"

"That's right, you're a very perceptive lad. I just came into to stop by before today's events."

Jane's eyes lit up mischievously. "You mean the festival?"

"Do not sound too excited." Red John warned. "It is a pool of thieves and hustlers and dregs of humankind all mixed together. Positively infested with carnies, you should know. I am a public official, I must go. I, however, do not enjoy one moment of it. Do you think I want to spend any more time around these filthy cheats?"

"I'm sorry." Jane cringed. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Don't you understand?" The minister hissed. "When you brutally killed your family, anyone else would have burned you to a stake. I gave you a home and protected you, and this is the thanks you give me?"

"I'm sorry sir"

"Oh Jane, you seem to forgotten how it is out there."

Red John cupped Jane's face in his arms.

"_The world is cruel_

_The world is wicked_

_It's I alone whom you can trust in this whole city_

_I am your only friend  
_

_I who keep you, hide you, take you, feed you_

_I who look upon you without hate_

_How can I protect you, Jane_

_Unless you always stay in here_

_Away in here  
_

_You are a murderer_

_And you are hated_

_And these are crimes for which the world_

_Shows no pity_

_You do not comprehend"  
_

"You are my one defender" Jane added.

"_Out there, they'll hang you like a monster_

_Out there they will line you on death row_

_Why invited their calumny and consternation?_

_Stay in here, be faithful to me  
_

_Do as I say. Obey_

_And stay in here."  
_

Red John removed his palms from Jane's face and headed towards the door.

"You are good to me." Jane sighed. "I'm sorry"

"You are forgiven." Red John croaked. "But remember, Jane. This is your sanctuary."

He then turned to leave.

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"Sanctuary." Jane repeated when Red John was gone.

"_Safe behind these windows and these parapets of brick_

_Gazing at the people down below me_

_All these years I watch them as I hide up here alone_

_Hungry for the ways that I could play them  
_

_All this time I've memorized their faces_

_Knowing them as they will never know themselves_

_All this time I wonder how it feels to pass a day_

_Not above them, but part of them  
_

_And out there, living the pure_

_Give me another day out there_

_All I ask is one, to keep forever_

_Out there, with them unaware_

_What I've done, without care_

_Just to spend another day out there  
_

_Out among the salesman_

_And their mistress and wives_

_Through the petty crimes that I can see_

_Every day they shout and scold and lie about their lives_

_Heedless of the gift it is to be them_

_If I could be clean like them, I'd treasure every instant  
_

_Out there strolling without sin_

_Spend a morning out there_

_Like innocent men, who freely walk about there_

_Just one day and then I'd swear_

_I'll be content, with my share_

_Won't resent, won't despair_

_All alone, I won't care_

_I'll have spent another day out there"  
_

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That sums up chapter two. Once again, I stuck close to script. Don't worry; I'll be pushing off that soon. I just need to set the stage. What do you guys think about the singing? I like morphing the songs to fit the situation. Plus, it's fun to sing them from start to finish the way I changed them. For those of you who already know the tune, doesn't it just come naturally? Please review! And I'll post again in the next two days!

**Up Next: A fiery brunette who may or may not have a pet goat.**

Key*(So Far)

Rigsby-_Hugo_

Cho-_Victor_

Van Pelt-_Laverne_

Jane-_ Quasimodo_

Red John-_Minister Frollo_

Minelli-_Clopin_

Brett Stiles-_Archdeacon_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey guys, thank you for all the positive reviews last chapter. I had to cut this chapter off at a weird point, so it's shorter. I could have kept going, but too many things were happening (it would have got confusing). I think it's great that some of you haven't seen/read The Hunchback of Notre Dame; that makes this fresh and new. Those of you who have read/seen it get a new perspective by characters you are familiar with. It's a win win! Anyway, I hope you enjoy chapter 3.

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The scene dissolves down to street level, where, in the midst of all the activity, walks a broad and handsome brunette. Clutching the handle of his obnoxious yellow motorcycle in one hand, and his tablet in the other, he proceeds down the street.

"Huh, you travel on business to Europe for a couple years and they change everything."

He looked over his shoulder and saw a pair of police officers walking by.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm looking for the CBI. Would you—"

The officers turned around, completely ignoring him.

"—hmmm, I guess not."

Meanwhile, in the corner of the street, a gorgeous dark haired woman stood in a crowed of beggars. Her eyes were piercing; just one glance and any passerby would show interest. On the ground, by her feet, lay a jar of change and small bills. Guarding it, strangely enough, was a snow white goat.

A woman and her child strode past the beggars, the mother steering the girl away.

"Stay away child—they're dirty orphans. They'll steal us blind."

The handsome man noticed the woman on the corner of the street and approached her. As he dropped a few dollar bills into the jar, she gave him a warm grin.

Out of nowhere, a boy on the edge of the street whistled. Everything came to a halt, the other beggars scrambling for cover. As the dark haired woman grabbed the jar, she stumbled. The jar flew out of her hands, causing coins to roll everywhere. She ran into the street to grab the money, but as she was gathering the change, the officers arrived.

"Alright, urchin," Growled the officer. "Where'd ya get the money?"

"For your information, I earned it." The woman snarled.

"Orphans don't earn money."

"You steal it?" The second officer asked.

"You'd know a lot about stealing." She shot.

"Troublemaker"

"Maybe," The first officer grinned. "a day behind bars will cool you down."

The two officers attempted to grab her, but she wriggled out of their reach. She began to run in the direction of the others, but the police chased after her. Just then, the handsome man leaped in front of them, his expensive motor bike blocking their way.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry." He tried to restrain his laughter. "Naughty thing, naughty. It's just impossible! Really, I can't make it do anything."

"Move this thing immediately." The officer yelled.

"I'll teach you a lesson, civilian." The second policeman spat.

The officer reached into his pocket for handcuffs, but something stopped him. The broad man reached into his pocket and pulled out a golden badge.

"You were saying… Lieutenant" The man grinned.

Realization downed upon the officers.

"Oh Captain," The second guard blushed. "At your service."

The two officers backed away and bowed their heads.

"I know you have a lot on your mind right now." Stated the Captain. "But… the office of CBI?"

The two guards fumbled aside and made a path for the Captain. As he traveled, he noticed remaining coins on the ground. He picked them up and dropped them into a jar belonging to an old man sitting on the curb. After he passed, the old man pulled down his hood to reveal the face of the beautiful beggar woman. She shot a curious look towards the Captain. He was trying to move through the crowd, but the engine of his bike was refusing to start up.

"Come on." The captain ordered. "Achilles, go!"

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The scene changes to the holding cell of the CBI. In the next room, yelps of agony echoed across the brick walls. Red John stood outside the door, listening with stick enthusiasm. Led by the two officers, the captain came up behind him.

"Agent." Red John called through the door.

"Sir?" The torturing minion asked.

"Ease up. Wait between beatings. Otherwise he might pass out before we get what we want."

"Yes sir." The minion grinned.

At that moment, Red John noticed the Captain.

"Ah, so this is the gallant Captain Mashburn, home from his travels." Grinned Red John.

"Reporting for duty, as ordered, sir."

"Your record precedes you, Walter. I expect nothing less but the best from an agent of your caliber."

"And you shall have it, sir. I guarantee it."

Red John grinned maliciously.

"Yes. You know, my last Captain of officers was, um, a bit of a disappointment to me."

A cry from the prisoner next door interrupted Red John. Mashburn was startled by the wails.

"Well, no matter." Continued the minister. "I'm sure you'll beat my men into shape."

"Uh, thank you sir," The Captain stumbled. "Very, uh, trem- tremendous honor, sir."

"You come to Sacramento in her darkest hour, Captain." Whispered Red John. "It will take a strong hand to save the weak minded from being so easily mislead."

"Misled, sir?" Mashburn asked.

Red John led Mashburn away from the holding cell and to a window near the door. Down below, a blob of people were running through the streets.

"Look Captain—beggars and carnies." Red John spat. "They live outside the normal order. Their heathen ways inflame the peoples' lowest instincts, and they must be stopped."

"I was summoned," The Captain said in surprised. "From my business in Europe to capture those who drabble in card tricks and palm reading?"

Red John's lips curled and he let out a bloodthirsty laugh.

"Oh, the real business, Mashburn, is what you see before you. For twenty years I have been taking care of carnies, one…by…one."

On each of the last three words, the minister crushed one of the three ants crawling on the windowsill. He picked away at the wood and revealed more ants scurrying underneath.

"And yet." Red John continued gravely. "For all my success, they have thrived. I believe that they have a safe haven, within the walls of this very city. They call it the Court of Miracles. "

"What are we going to do about it, sir?" The Captain asked.

Red John made a fist and slammed it down on top of the scurrying ants.

"You make your point vividly." Mashburn shuttered.

"You know," Red John grinned. "I like you Captain. Shall we?"

Mashburn followed Red John to the entrance of the CBI. Through the doors, the cheers of the crowd could be heard.

"Oh, duty calls." Growled the minister. "Have you attended a civilian festival, Captain?"

"Not recently, sir." Mashburn frowned.

"Then this should be quite an education for you. Come along."

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Well, what did you guys think? There was no singing this chapter, but don't fret, because the next one is filled to the brim with it. Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought! A new Chapter will be up in the next 2 days.

**Up Next: Drinking, partying, and complete/utter nonsense.**

Key*(So Far)

Mashburn- _Phoebus_

Rigsby-_Hugo_

Cho-_Victor_

Van Pelt-_Laverne_

Jane-_ Quasimodo_

Red John-_Minister Frollo_

Minelli-_Clopin_

Brett Stiles-_Archdeacon_


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